Lessons from pansexuality
In 2008, the Bollywood movie, Dostana created waves for touching upon an unexplored and sensitive topic: homosexuality. I was completely oblivious to this sexual orientation until I saw the movie; I was only aware of heterosexuality. It wasn’t because of ignorance, but that was the conditioning and exposure I received.
A few years back, a close friend spoke to me about pansexuality, and my initial impressions were confusing as I couldn’t understand how it differed from bisexuality. I was finding it difficult to comprehend because my understanding of gender was binary, instead of looking at it as a spectrum.
Naturally, the first set of literature I referred to were articles on the topic, but nothing could beat a simple word that helped me comprehend the subject matter adequately: gender-blind.
If a person is attracted to another human, irrespective of gender, they are pansexual. There is no discrimination on the grounds of gender; This is the idea I want to drive home.
Chivalry is considered attractive in men, and gallant behavior to women definitely helps in gaining a lot of social currency. But, the question stands: why show courtesy only to women? Shouldn’t courtesy be part of a person’s behavior irrespective of the other person’s gender?
Even amongst close friends, there is a high chance of treating the ladies differently from the men. If a person qualifies to be in the close friends' circle, irrespective of gender, they deserve to experience you without any filters and extra care. What is usually done in the pretext of care and affection for women are actually limiting moves.
There is definitely the inherent challenge of most women feeling entitled to gentlemanly behavior. It can obviously be attributed to family and societal conditioning they received while growing up. Unfortunately, it is a colossal waste of their abilities, and it puts them on a track with a constrained view of the world and what they think they can contribute.
I become joyous when I see a woman washing a car or engaging in activities that are forbidden because of their gender. There are studies on how women are much more equipped for handling stressful situations, and it would be totally unfair to their potential to kill it with unnecessary honor and attention.
Carry another person’s bags based on their age or physical abilities, instead of gender!